AiNi .. alone ..

today .. raining a lot ...
even in d morning .. its still raining ..
Nice one ~ cuz my mom let me play in d rain ~
after hot & sweaty all weeks ~
It's finally rain !!! ><
Thank You Allah ! 
make me remember of Atikah .. 
I can't erase her .. !
I can't !! 
too many wonderful memories ...
I wonder how she delete it all ? 
Can I ask her ?
I tried to laugh it away ..
Still I stalking her fb profile ..
Even I did block her ...
I still remember her ...
So I unblock her ..
Looks like she already forgets bout me ...
Not a single status ..
She mention ..
that she miss me .. or she is sorry ...
She really a hardcore ...
She sure stubborn ..
I still remember  ..
last year was the best ..
when my mom let me sleep over at her and Yana's house ...
We're going out .. till late ..
karaoke  and eat a lot ..
being super crazy ~
while riding that thing ..
and wave at the strangers ...
*sigh* 
The time when she heard me sing ..
to Bonamana ..
how her eyes and mouth .. are ...
Maybe she couldn't believe dat I can sing kpop song~
That the best moment ever ...
we came home late.. 
super late .. like .. 12 in d morning .. ><
but we had fun, did we ?? 
even in short time ..
we did done some good & happy moment together ...
but .. what left now ??
U pissed me off cuz back some guy ..
that u barely knew for three months ??
U choose him over me ??!
I know I did wrong ..
cuz mad at him over nothing ..
but ...
can u please listen to what I'm going to say ??
I wouldn't and never judge someone ..
by their sense of music  .. 
Even he like clubbing & hot girls ..
I would never say it publicly ..
then why suddenly he said ..
"Kpop is just waste of time "..
"They all fake ! Always done plastic surgery"..
well.. EXCUSE ME ...
first .. we *basically kpop fans*
done nothing WRONG ..
cuz everyone got their own genre and sense of MUSIC ..
THAT WHY we GOT GENRE .. U idiot !
Couldn't please RESPECT that ??! 
what more.. plastic surgery ??
well.. they're christian .. and it's their money ..
they can change anything or everything they wants ...
what more worst .. he started to called me an ADDICT ..
WHAT THE HELL ??!!! 
Me an addict !? 
Yah !!! I'm not addict ..
I'm just being what a fan would react if someone ..
BASHING our favorite singers ..
Plus .. come out from nowhere ..
U cud call me an addict ??!
Juz bcuz of my profile picture is DONGHAE ??!
GET A LIFE , U freaking guy !
then dat nite .. I call u ..
told u everything ..
U told U cant do anything ..
cuz me and him.. both of us r ur frens ..
I said okay .. I'll be okay soon. so dun worry ..
suddenly .. d next morning ..
U posted it as UR STATUS & TAG MY NAME ..
I'm the WRONG ONE & shud b sorry??!!
I'm sad ... i am ..
wanna know why ?
U're play poker face wif me ..
If oni U told me dat nite ..
I wudnt b dat angry ...
yes . I lost my temper dat nite ...
I'm sorry ..
den .. its a new year ...
its been moths already ...
I tried to add u back ..
but what I got is ..
Ur simple denial ..
told me U wont hurt me again.
told me to leave U alone ..
told me to erase everything ...


Honestly ..
It was hard ..
wen I know . I did protect ya ..
from my parents and family ..
saying U're good person.
U won't hurt me . cuz we're friends ..
each time my mom wud scold me over ya ..
I wud said .. "it's okay". I got U .. as my friend..
each time my dad told me to leave ya ..
I wud smile and told him . "its okay". she won't hurt me .
each time we got into fight and my sis were mad at ya..
I said .. "its okay". these thing happens..
then .. when suddenly ..
U really left me ..
I'm lost ...
I dun know what and who to believe ...
I hold on to Allah and my ELF friends ..
to get support ...
and love ..
U know my childhood story ..
yet U still leave me ...
now...
I'm trying ...
my best ...
laugh and smile ..
even it's hurt inside ..
when I know I couldn't anything to help my ELF family back ...
there was times when ...
I'm faking my smile and laugh so .. they cud smile too ...
there's times .. we wud broke down ..
this is my moment ...
hope U guys will understand it ...
Thanks ~ ^____^
Ah ~ forgot ..
Liking kpop weren't a bad thing ..
as long as we know the limit .. 
and never cross the line ..
even it's in korean words .. still got meaningful lyrics ...
plus I met wonderful people through this life ..
I'm still thankful to Allah ..
cuz making me loves kpop so much ! :D