Apr 29, 2011

AiNi.. faking her own feeling..



It's been forever since I update my blog .. huhu ...
Currently .. in my Facebook life ... 
Everyone is extremely busy ... *that is what I felt* 
I dun want to disturb them again by being so childish ...
Even I miss some of them ... so bad ....
I tried to keep it low ...
I tried to hide it ... 
They just busy ... 
So my current status at FACEBOOK *as for now* ..
mostly about my LIFE ...
my life as NOOR HIDAYAH ...
my life as AiNi ...
not my life as AiNi Aiden ... 
not my life as aini_aiden ...


I will go with my LIFE as Noor Hidayah ~
Basically  ... I guess everyone knows that ...
Noor Hidayah is for my office use ...
For short .. they will called me .. "Dayah".. or "Kak Yah"..
"Dayah" for Kak Linda, Kak Ain, Kak Amal, Boss & En Haidzar ...
"Kak Yah" for .. Abg Shairul, Abg Ubai, Abg Madi & Abg Wan .. =__=
*They said.. it's more friendlier* ... Yeah .. I guess sooooooooOoo.. 
So my office life .. where I tend to called it ...
"My Office Family".... 
I'm close with everyone .. *I think so* ..
Cuz I treated everyone equally .. based on how they treats me ...
I treats Kak Linda, Kak Ain & Kak Amal like my own sisters ...
Since I'm the youngest one.. I tend to act normally ...
Just being myself .. Talk a LOT ... Laughing Out Loud ...
Goofing around them ... Its so fun ! ><


Lately ... eh.. wait.. not lately ... but ...
Hurm.. suddenly .. I felt something different now ...
Since that *bitch* gone .. (You know who the *bitch* was aite) ...
Kak Ain, Abg Shairul and En Zaid .. *Our company's agent* ...
acted so different with me ... 
Kak Ain seems she "have to" be friend with me !
I seriously can feel the "poker face" she plays ...
Now I know many of her lies ...
Like Allah wanna show me the "different" side of her ...
I meant like ..
I have to list all to get you guys understand what I trying to say ?...
well.. got many ... laaa .... 
hurm.. I will listed several of them laa eh ~
She said .. 
She didn't contact that bitch again ...
I know ... that ...
She did contact with her ...
How I know ?...
I hacked her phone and FACEBOOK.. 
She said ...
She forgave me ...
I feel like ...she still didn't forgive me ...
How I know ?...
Cuz she yelled at me last two days ...
*Now... she often yell at me even I didn't make any mistake*
She said ...
She busy helping her dad recovery .. *Her dad got stroke*
I found out that ...
She busy doing other things ...
How I know ?....
She got phone call in front of me ...
That person ordered tons of chocolate ! ><
..... she got "poker face" right ??...
She said.. 
Her mom doesn't like her to be late ...
I knew ...
That .. she going out with Yus one day ...
I still remember when ...
The day when Super Junior's concert ..
The day when I cried the most ...
The day I can't control my tears ...
Kak Linda asking me out ...
She thought it going to cheer me up a bit ...
She asking me and Kak Ain ...
Since Kak Linda with Abg Wan *Her hubby* 
So I took Kak Ain's car ...
Suddenly.. 
Kak Ain told me ..
She can't go ...
Did she knows how my feeling was ??...
I'm not being a spoil brat ...
but ...
I was sad at that time ! 
So I kept quiet ...
She asked whether I'm mad with her ...
I just shake my head ..
like a "No" sign ...
I still can't forget it till now .....
I'm sorry ...
but it's just too painful to erase it ...
Just now ..
I knew something again ...
She doesn't like me being too close with Kak Linda..
She said .. Kak Linda was my best friend now ...
I'm like .. 
"Hey! who start it first ??!.." 
I knew something ...
She likes to hang out with En Zaid & Abg Shairul more now ..
I didn't thought she was this kind of person ...
Who likes guys better than girls ...
As a girl ..
I prefer to be close with other girls than a guy ...
It's would be so much different between me and her now...
Now.. 
my feeling toward her totally way different from Kak Linda & Kak Amal..
I hate to see her smile like I hate to see Yus's smile ...
I hate everything about her now ...
Now ...
I'm trying to un-friend with her ...
I'm trying to ignore everything about her ...
I'm trying to act cool ...
Even my heart is bleeding ...
Even I'm crying again for her ...
Even I know it's was wrong ...




Kak Linda bought me something last week ...
Diet milk that cost her .. RM150++ ...
She wants me to be skinny as her ..
So I would be more confident ...
So I can feel pretty about myself more ..
To tell the truth ...
I prefer Kak Linda more than Kak Ain now ..
cuz with Kak Linda.. 
I feel I can be her younger sister ..
She understand me better ...
With her I can tell everything about my life ..
I can share almost anything with her now ...
I can talk freely to her now ...
She knew when I was angry ..
She knew when I was sad ...
She knew I'm just being myself ..
Even sometime I lost my temper toward her ..
But I will quickly say "Sorry" ... 
cuz I know .. it's all my fault ...
I can't control my anger well ..
I will curse if I was so angry ..
I know it's bad attitude but .. 
seriously I cant help it ...
Kak Linda respect my music ..
She knew I love Super Junior damn much ! 
She didn't blame me cuz being an ELF ...
She knew my hubby is lee Donghae !~
She knew how my family treats me ..
She did feel sorry but I told her not too ..
She told me ... Everything's going to be alright ...
She told me to love my parents even they mad at me often ...
She told me to have faith in Allah ..
A nice person will be happy in the end ...
She tried to stand by my side ...
She tried to reach me whenever I lost in my world ...
She tried to be the best she can be for me as friend ...
She tried to help me in everything ...


Kak Amal ...
Even she new ...
but I can be close with her within second ..
She asked me to call her .. "Kak Ngah" ...
She called me "Adik" in return ...
She is the most friendly person I ever know ..
She talks a lot like me too ..
She respect me a a person ..
Once she was in the same toilet with me .. -__-!!
cuz heavy rain and got a lot of lighting ..
I was in hurry to pee but have to hold back ..
I was scared of lighting and thunder ..
She pulled me and ask me to pee while she looking at d other side ..
I was ... like ...
OH MY GOD ... 
I'm shy !!~ 
I can feel like ears hot like hot chicken !!
My face was so red !!
She hugged me .. and told .. 
She got younger sister so she knew how I feels..
I guess ...
She likes to hugging me from the back ...
cuz got one time ..
She hugged me from behind too.. 
I was just so shocked every time she does that ... 
She likes to pick me at home ...
So I always make some excuse .. 
or I'm going early...
like today ...
In the morning ..
She told me to wait at my house cuz it's raining ..
but I told her.. "it's okay" ...
so I walk ... :D
She angry with me but .. 
just for a while ...
Hehe ... 


Okay laa.. I guess ... 
That's all ...
Keke ~ ...
Story bout me being as AiNi ...
will be tomorrow .. or the day after .. 
or whenever I'm free ... 
Thanks cuz read my "stupid & childish" story ~


_Dayah_










ATTENTION :- 


Lee Donghae !! 
I miss U !!!!! TwT ..
I'm worried about U .. >< 
Please tweet something !!! or ......
I'll knock your head if U come to Malaysia ! ><
*Evil Laugh* 
Muhahahahahahahahaha ... ^o^

Apr 15, 2011

AiNi ... Let's FLY with KRY !~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7-Ds_4mm38&feature=share


Kyuhyun !~
Ryewook !~
Yesung !~
FIGHTING !!!!~ ^o^v


Super Star !!!~ LET'S GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~


I'm looking forward to this this MV !!~
Their voice rocking my WORLD !~


Their romanization lyrics ~ ::




KRY - Fly lyrics

KYUHYUN) Oksang wi eh hollo anja noraereul boolluhjji
Nareul bichwuhjooneun byuhl gwanjoong sama

RYEOWOOK) Jobeun golmok dolgo dolmyuh ddwigo ddo dwiuhjji
Shinbari haejyuh darha buhril ddaekkaji

YESUNG) Every night maeil kkoouhdduhn sojoonghan kkoomdeul
Ijeneun pyuhlchiruh naragal guhya

K.R.Y.) Superstar ijen naya moksoril nopyuh jilluh
Naega noogooyuhdduhn OK nae koomeul hyanghayuh Let's go
Superstar ijen nuhya moksoril keuge jilluh
Joojuhma shijakhae nuhmanui woojooreul boyuhbwa

RYEOWOOK) Jal dwel guhya jarhalguhya soo uhbshi wechyuhjji
Ddaeron himi deulgo jom dooryuhpjiman

KYUHYUN) Werowuhdo seulpuhjyuhdo an woonda haessuhjji
Ddaddeuthan nuhui wiro nae maeum woollyuh

YESUNG) Every night maeil kkoouhdduhn sojoonghan kkoomdeul
Ijeneun pyuhlchiruh naragal guhya

K.R.Y.) Superstar ijen naya moksoril nopyuh jilluh
Naega noogooyuhdduhn OK nae koomeul hyanghayuh Let's go
Superstar ijen nuhya moksoril keuge jilluh
Joojuhma shijakhae nuhmanui woojooreul boyuhbwa

KYU♥HYUN) Ja nooneul gama miraeui ne moseubeul geuryuh
RYEOWOOK) Baraedduhn koomi boiji anhni

K.R.Y.) Superstar ijen naya moksoril nopyuh jilluh
Naega noogooyuhdduhn OK nae koomeul hyanghayuh Let's go
Superstar ijen nuhya moksoril keuge jilluh
Joojuhma shijakhae nuhmanui woojooreul boyuhbwa
Nuhmanui woojooreul boyuhbwa

RYEOWOOK) Pyuhlchyuhbwa
KYUHYUN) Shijakhae
YESUNG) Ije shijakhae
K.R.Y.) Nuhmanui woojooreul boyuhbwa





Credit to my SuJu fan page at FB ~ :D


AiNi  ....


p/s: tonite .. I dun want to write bout my office. it;s juz so annoying to talk over the same thing .. over and over .. again and again ... non stop... *sigh*



Apr 14, 2011

AiNi .. nobody at home now ...

Today ..
I'm home alone again ...
My mom went to Nilai ... her sister's house ...
will be back with my dad .. I don't know when ...
Now..
listen to Super Junior's songs all over again ...
Listen to their's voice sings ...
somehow make all my stress gone ..
really !~ *i'm not lying at all!~*
I'm really really like all their songs !~
I'm kinda addicted to them ...=___=
sorry mom ..
sorry dad ...
I can't even imagine how my life ...
without music at all ....
cuz.. I'm like to listen to a good song..
and write some lyrics ..
I kept in my little diary ...
hehe .. it's just for fun ~

today at work ...
SUPER TIRING !!!~
my stupid .. a very very stupid MANAGER ..
gave LAST MINUTE works again !~
I got 40 reports to print out ..
and it MUST be DONE b4 tomorrow !!~
WHAT THE !!!!
I was okay at first .. cuz it's still early ..
*clock 5.00PM*
Never mind .. I can do this !!~
I'm doing all my works ...
till suddenly he said ....
"Amal !~ SALAH nih !~ "..
I was like  ...
WHAT THE HELL !!!
I only got one report to GO !!
He always being like that !!!
Actually .. it's was his report ..
but he told Kak Amal to do it for him ..
since she was new in the company ...
When he pass my desk ...
I'm speak in LOUD volume ..
"WHAT the hell !!?? Da nak abes baru nak cakap??! Baling report kat muke ko bru tau !"..
He look at me .. then ..
I turn around and gave him my.. "Cold" look ...
He can't say anything .. He just went to his desk ...
I was like .. "tau pon takut .. memandai jer bgi keje last minute"...
Kak Amal got no other choice ..
She have to amend it all over again ...
I'm have to stay back too ...
so I was doing my work ..
print print print print print print and print ....
till the clock shows 7.00PM ...
OMG .. It's late !~
I told Kak Amal .. just go home ..
we will continue later ...
so .. I was calling her .. ask her to pretend it was from her dad .. :P
So we got released ~ lala ~~
when the clock shows 8.00PM ..
finally ~~ I"M HOME !!~
but the house so messy and ... smelly ... ><
since my mom wasn't home ...
=______________=
I was changing my clothes fast ..
just wash my face with cold water ...
p/s: I can't bath after 4.00PM .. T_T
then.. fast cleans the house .. and online !~
keke ~~
now.. it's 9.00PM ..
my mom still not here ...
ah ~ I'm tired ...

Apr 12, 2011

AiNi .. her last day is TODAY !~



Ah ~ today went breakfast with Kak Linda & Kak Amal ~
then eat together at d office ~ me so happy ~
*ah ~ when to diet again?~*
I was happy today ~ 
I don't know why ~
but I'm so happy and chatty ~
kept talking ~
kept making jokes ~
then suddenly ..
Kak Amal hug me from behind again .. =_=
She shows her new phone ~
there's text there .. saying ..
"Hari nih.. Yus last " ...
I was like .....
wait ...
true ??!!! 
Chongmal ??!
I saw her smile and nod her head ~
I'm so thankful to Allah ~
sorry cuz being bad ...
but .. thankful cuz ...
I can be myself again ~
Smile and laughing freely ~
No secrets anymore ~


Today ~ I found that ...
My manager .. *today.. he's not stupid* keke ~
He wants Yus to go ...
He doesn't want to see Yus's face again ...
I don't know why he being like that to Yus ...
cuz I'm being like that to Yus for a reason...
Why he must hate Yus too ?
Isn't Yus are a good person ? A nice girl ??
Kak Ain likes her more than me ...
Why he hating her ??
He puts 0 in her report ....
All 0 .. *Yes.. zero*
He shouldn't do that ... =___=
He's going to ruin Yus's future !~ 
So I took the report and bring to Kak Linda ...
asking her to change a bit ...


There's no way Yus getting zero !~
At least ... she attending office hours ...
even she likes MC more ~
At least she helps me a bit with answering calls ...
even she doesn't know how to talk well ...
At least she helps Kak Linda with invoices and stuffs ...
even she messing up more than helping ...
*see ?? I tried to list her goods ..but ... there's also bad* 
I really really hate her !~ ><
I'm sorry but I can't hide it well..
At her "farewell party" ... I can't stop smiling ... =_______=
She crying but ... ah ~ she only .... *I don't to say more~*


Today .. I knew one more thing ...
My boss didn't like Yus too ...
He approved Yus's early leaving cuz he can't stand her ...
ah ~ victory is mine !~ 
AT LAST !~ 
I can smile and be happy again !~
Thank You Ya Allah !~ 
Let's hope for a better tomorrow !~ 

Apr 11, 2011

AiNi .. Heart HIM !!~



Today I'm so HAPPY !~
DAMN HAPPY !~
Wanna KNOW WHY??!
Guess Guess Guess !!~
............................................................ .........................
.............................................. .......................................
DONGHAE TWEETED TWO DAYS IN ROW !~
PLUS !!~ 
TODAY HE DID TWEETED LIKE 2 TWEETS !!~ 
WOAHH!!!!~ I"M SO HAPPY ~!!!
Eunhyuk and Siwon did the same thing too !~
In a sec "EUNSIHAE" Iin TRENDING TOPIC ..
"WORLD WIDE"...
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !!!~
THIS is DONGHAE TWEET ... on 10 APRIL 2011 ..

"Wan an !! Lai dao wo de meng li bian :) wo hui dong ni men !!! meng li bian jian"..


He so cute ~ Yeah ~ I know ~ keke ~


TODAY He tweeted again ... 
but I can't save his photos ... =___________=
I only got Eunhyuk and Siwon's tweet ...


Eunhyuk tweeted .. keke ~

Siwon's tweet~Keke ~ 




Donghae tweeted again .. after ...
he upload the photo .. 


He said .. 
"Siwon .. Thank U ! Xie xie !~".. 


Keke ~~ Tonite so happy laa ~~ ^o^v


p/s: make me forget about my stress for a while ~ 


 I GOT HIS PHOTO !!!~ *SCREAM!!~*
*thank to the fan base in FACEBOOK !~*


His face !!~ Omo !!~ dying~~ ><




AiNi like DONGHAE so MUCH !!~

AiNi .. can't stop thinking bout her !~

Yaaaaa ~~ I did sound like a "lesbian" there ~ *coughcough*
Ah ~ the first day of the weekdays ~ It's Monday ...
Kak Linda took "EL" for some reason ~
I hope she was okay .. *pray for her*
Now .. today ..
I didn't talk too much ..
more on listening to ERA.FM. *cuz it's the only RADIO plays KPOP* =__=
Felt boring ... but got tons of work to do ...
Texting with Tiqah and Hyosson 4 a while ..
then.. suddenly .. that stupido manager gave me last minute work.. *again*
*I must stop write bout him or I will be fired if someone I knew read this*
Now ..
got some free time before office hours ends ...
Tiqah must be sleeping ....
So I don't want to disturb her ..
*me always disturb her nap time.. *
Hyosson got class ...
She need to FOCUS !
aja3 fighting !!!~

ah ~ back to my "REAL LIFE" ...
Kak Ain only talks to me ... twice today ...
=________________________=
One .. when lunch time ..
She ask me to buy Yus meal..
She worried sick bout Yus ..
So I had to go ... with Kak Amal ...
Back from that ..
I'm was in Kak Linda's room ...
waiting for them to eat together ..
Actually .. I can eat with Kak Amal only ..
but I still have a little respect for Kak Ain ..
so I ask her to join me and Kak Amal ..
If Kak Ain joins ... Yus will come along too ...
Yeah .. Yus was there . sit beside Kak Ain ..
with her sick face ...
I can't look at her face !~
Like seriously !~
I'm not good at pretending to be nice when I know I hate that person ...
I'm truly sorry ..
That's what you get if you are messing up with me !~
I'm not that easy to forget what you had done to my "Office" Family !
You tears us apart !~
You can't deny it .. cuz all this stupid fights happens after you came !
I didn't say a word to Yus !
for today ..
when she trying to cover up by saying "Hi" or "sorry" ..
still not working on me ...
I'm sorry.  but I'm tired with all your POKER FACE !
If you are that good ..
try to make Kak Linda and Kak Ain be friends again ..
Then I will forget all this shit and be friends with you ...
It's hard when I know they're good to each other till you came..
Before Yus came ...
I done a lot of things together with Kak Linda and Kak Ain ..
Laugh out LOUD ..
Sit next together when meeting ...
Eat together breakfast and lunch ...
Now .. Kak Linda refused to go anywhere if Kak Ain was there ..
Now ... I refused to go anywhere if Yus was there ...
It's not FUN at all !!~
can I ask God to turn back the time..
begging that stupido manager ...
not to take Yus as practical worker !~
Okay .. I know .. we can't turn back the time ...
aish .. *sigh* ...
I thought it going to be fun ...
but ..... .....
this things happens ....
ah ~ wish Miracle could happen in my Office ~
So everything would turn back to normal ..
Times when Yus aren't around ...
That times ... are precious to me ....

Apr 10, 2011

AiNi.. thank YOU !~



It's okay .. 
if my other siblings weren't that good to me ...
cuz I know ...
I got you guys ...
Tonight ...
You guys made my day once again ~
I will never forget these days ...
When I know ...
Someone or somebody loves me for who I am ...
You guys was there if I cried ...
You guys laughed with me if I cracked silly jokes ...
You guys are important to me ....
I'm speak the truth ...
I'm an ELF and ..
Proud to be one of it ....
You guys teach me ...
what is right ...
what is wrong ...
Only Allah can repay back what you guys did to me ...
You guys gave me 100 reason to live and be happy ~
You guys shows me 1000 reason not to cry ~
Being just like this ..
We can be close like a real family did ...
I'm really thankful for that ....
I'm not lying ...
This is true from my heart ....
I'm not easy to understand ...
but somehow you guys merge to my system and be nice to me ...
the walls .. just ... gone .. 
I'm a someone who willing to do anything to ..
please someone that are important in my life ..
Don't thank me ...
I should be the one .. who said the word...
I thank You *guys* ..
cuz ...
being ...
my friends ...
my adviser ...
my guardian angel ...
my crazy sisters ..
my ELFamily ....
where the place ...
I can be who I wanted to be ....


THANK YOU !~
SARANGHAE !~ 


AiNi ..

AiNi ... "Never Say Never"...

See I never thought that I could walk through fire.
I never thought that I could take the burn.
I never had the strength to take it higher,
Until I reached the point of no return.


And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
It's my destiny.



I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up up up,
And never say never.

I never thought I could feel this power.
I never thought that I could feel this free.
I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower.
And I'm fast enough to run across the sea.

And there's just no turning back,
When your hearts under attack,
Gonna give everything I have,
Cause this is my destiny.

I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up, up, up,
And never say never.

Here we go!
Guess who?
JSmith and Jb!
I gotcha lil bro.
I can handle him.
Hold up, aight?
I can handle him.

Now he's bigger than me,
Taller than me.
And he's older than me,
And stronger than me.
And his arms a little bit longer than me.
But he ain't on a JB song with me!

I be trying a chill
They be trying to side with the thrill.
No pun intended, was raised by the power of Will.

Like Luke with the force, when push comes to shove.
Like Cobe with the 4th, ice water with blood.

I gotta be the best, and yes
We're the flyest.
Like David and Goliath,
I conquered the giant.
So now I got the world in my hand,
I was born from two stars
So the moon's where I land.

I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up, up, up,
And never say never.

I will never say never! (I will fight)
I will fight till forever! (make it right)
Whenever you knock me down,
I will not stay on the ground.
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up,
Pick it up, up, up,
And never say never.

p/s: not a JB fans but ... his lyrics ... *sigh* so ... so .... wonder where he got all this ... hehe .. 

Apr 9, 2011

AiNi .. .....

I don't know why I put that as my title ~ lala ~~
Today .. woke up ... late cuz yesterday ...
sleep super late .. =__=
ah ~ I woke up .. saw my 1st sis ..
play my computer .. then I ask her..
"Wireless ada eh?".. then she replied back ...
"Ko kalo ade wireless .. idop ko eh".. I was like ...
Never mind .. Turn on the tv.. saw new variety show ~ "Heroes"..
That variety show was so so so FUNNY !!!
wonder why K-entertainment so funny ??
All of their idols are super FUN to watch ???! ><
In that show . I did notice ..
IU.. Kahi ... Nicole .. JiYeon ...
They all so FUNNY !!! *not only the guys did aeygo*
Nicole's English were super AWESOME !!
She can talk in English non stop ! w/o pausing !!!
meanwhile Kahi weakness . She always fall asleep !!! ><
if she got nothing to do ~ haha. like seriously !!~
I didn't watch the whole show .. as I have to clean my house ...
ah .. speaking of witch ...
I really pissed off .. I repeat that .. PISSED OFF ..
with my 1st sis !!
She so dem lazy !!!
She ask me to do a lot of work !!!
I meant like.. ah .. "WILL YOU DIE IF YOU DONE THIS WORK?"
I'm tired actually..
How they treated me ..
My 2nd sis .. sleep till noon ..
She won't woke up w/o nothing ...
today .. she woke up a bit early ..
cuz my 1st sister wanna take flight off back to Sabah ...
They were chatting merely ..
where I was sit there alone ..
Plugged my ears with my kpop songs ...
I was thinking .. "Nah .. AiNi .. it's okay.."...
I kept it all inside me ...
but when I got back ...
I found out that ..
my 2nd sis and my brother ..
ATE MAC D w/o ME !!! T__________T
How could they ???!!
They knew I was in LUV with MAC D !!!
even Kak Linda knows how much I craving for MAC D ..
I told my mom ..
But my mom said .. "AiNi.. It's okay .. It juz a food"...
But mom ...
Kak Linda won't like that to me !!
She won't !! she will buy and save it for me !!!
Sometime I wish Kak Linda were my real sister ..
She understand me better ..
I talked with her more ..
I told her everything about my dirty little secrets ..
She laughed with me ...
She crack jokes when she knows I was about to cry ...

but suddenly I remembered ..
My 2nd sis bought me a hand bag.
A really nice one ..
Maybe she thinks I won't eat that Mac D ...
My 1st sis gave me watch ...
So they got good times with me too ...
just maybe ..
I always a moody person ..
so it's hard for them to tell how my mood was ..
better they shut their mouth ...
Hehe ~ told ya once ..
I was the complicated one in the family ~
Lala ~~

"Family ties never can be cut off no matter what happens"... 
We will stick together as one . Sad or Happy . Together.

Apr 6, 2011

AiNi.. don't understand her at all..

She said.
Past is past .. 
Then why today .. she acted like that again ??!
I don't get it ..
I don't understand her at all !
Kak Linda did ignore me this morning !
I didn't even eat my breakfast with her today !
I didn't hang out like I usually did !
I didn't laugh with her only ...

then .. why why Kak AIN ???!!
Why it's so hard with you ???
I don't understand at all...
I did laugh with you today ...
I tried to act cool ...
I tried to be funny as I always be ..
Then WHY ???!
When I said ...
I wanted to buy a cake for Kak Amal ..
why your face change so drastically ??
why ??
can you tell me why ??!
Seriously ..
I'm getting tired by all these shit already ..
Please don't make me hate you ...
You wanna know why I wanted to buy a cake for Kak Amal ??
Easy ...
cuz ...
It's her birthday tomorrow ..
Cuz ..
I wanted to welcome her to our company...
I don't want to do it alone ..
So I'm asking a favor from you and Kak Linda ...
I'm not doing this cuz..
She is boss cousin ...
cuz I care for her like you and Kak Linda ...
Even in short time ...
Now ..
I'm felt .. like..
She understand me better than you ...

Today ... Kak Amal ...
She came to office early ...
She hugged me from behind ...
Asking me what happen yesterday ...
She told me ..
to ignore Yus ..
Cuz she only practical ..
Yus will leave soon ...
She ask me to be nice you again ...
She told me ..
that ...
Everyone should be friends again ..
cuz ..
we got only US ...
Even she think alike with me ...
Maybe ..
there is a reason behind all these ...
I should be patient ...
Let's Allah shows Kak Ain ..
the truth later ...


AiNi ..

Apr 5, 2011

AiNi .. Office life is ...

Office's life is pretty mess up already ...
just because one person ...
I'm not hating her but .. I'm just don't like her ..
cuz she start this stupid fight ...
I just can't ignore it all ...
cuz from I know ...
She ask me to add her then she block me ??!
As for me ... okay .. AiNi.. it's really okay ...
You don't need to be friend to someone like her ...
Okay ..
I did ignore her ..
I did mad at her ...
cuz of what ??
Wanna me list all her fault ??! 
Why she can't understand me ??
why she saying that her is better than me ??!
You know her for how long compared to me ??
You know whom first ???!
You told someone close to me  ..
"Why I'm being bad to her ??"...
Listen here sis...
First ..
she blocked me first.. *Pissed off!* 
second ...
WHAT DID SHE DO AT OUR OFFICE BY THE WAY??!
For every single thing.. she can't even take note !
For every simple thing !!! 
She blame me back !! Did you know that ??!
cuz of what ??
I'm younger than she is ??! 
Yaaa !!!~ Even I'm younger than she is ...
still I'm a senior compared my experience ...


Sis .. 
Did you know that ..
she always yelled at me whenever you're not around ??!
Did you know that ...
she is not friendly as you thought she is ...
cuz whenever I was left alone with her ..
She only sit at her desk and texting with someone ..
as for me ...
I don't talk first ..
not until she say Hi first ..
cuz she is not my sister ...
I don't need to respect her as I respect you guys ...
She don't deserve my respect ...
Did you know that ...
I'm always hurt when I saw you and her ...
talking and laughing together  ?
It's really hurt me ...
deep to my heart ...
why it hurts me so much ??
cuz to me ...
all of us can be friends ..
You know how I am ..
Did you ???
I loves to talk and jokes around ...
I loves to laugh with a lot of people ...
I loves to hang out with you guys ..
but she won't accept me and the other sis ...
why ??
maybe to her ..
we loves to bully and scold her ...
but ...
in three months ...
she doing nothing ...
she knows nothing...
she is a smart girl ...
cuz she got to finish her studies till the end ...
but why she slow ??!
she can't even call client ...
she can't do invoice ...
*which is mainly of her practical works"...
I told her many secrets ..
I told her bout that ahjussi .. *suddenly korean words~ * 
so I afraid that ahjussi do something bad to her ...
I do care bout her at first ...
I wanna be her friend ..
I wanna be me  ...
but since ...
she acted that way ..
I can't take it anymore ..
Human got limits ..
so do I ..
She kept blaming me ...
She kept staring at me ..
She kept making weird face to me when she and you talking ...
But I only kept quiet ...
I ran to the other sis ..
cuz I hate to see that smile ..
That evil smile ..
saying .. She already WIN ...


Sis ..
when we fought *again* this evening ...
I told myself ..
not to cry again ...
but..
when .. my mom said ..
"AiNi .. takpe la kalo AiNi yg said sorry.. cuz AiNi adik.. "..
I burst out crying ...
cuz I'm really really tired..
seeing you and her laughing and talking together ..
You accused me to be close with the other sis ...
Which really hurts me ...
cuz I did love you guys equally ...
cuz I did care bout you guys ..
as much you guys about me ... 
I already consider you guys as my family ...
Please understand me when I said .. 
I DON'T LIKE HER ...
Doesn't meant I'm bad person ..
I got my own reason to hate her ...
She got her own reason to hate me ...


Sis ..
I feel a lot better after I talk to you ...
Thanks a lot cuz you're not mad at me anymore ..
I'm sorry cuz I slammed that door ...
Thanks cuz saying .. 
that you're sorry too ...
thanks cuz ...
making me feel better ..
You explained to me everything ..
then I explained to you everything ...
Now .. I hope this thing were over ...
cuz I hate the feeling ...
when I fought that someone is important to me ...
I saw you everyday ...
Its must feel so weird when we're not talking anymore ...


Sis ..
Thanks cuz answer my call..
Thanks cuz saying you're sorry too ...
Thanks cuz making me a lot better now ...
Thanks for everything ...


Sis ...
SARANGHAE !!! ><







Apr 4, 2011

AiNi .. Before U Go ...

If you feel it's a burden that all my senses are focused only on you, I will leave now .....
If I made you suffer 'cause I couldn't control my feelings, I will go now ...... 
I was afraid that like a "hook", you might fly away from my side .........
I couldn't say "phew..." and rest even for a day .............

I didn't know then that I was hurting you with my foolish obsession ....
Just know this before you go; that I am a man who only wanted to love you .......
So stupid was I, an idiot, a scumbag who couldn't even protect you .........
If you stay beside me 'till the end, you'll be more heartbroken, you might fall .........

It's a good thing that someone who will set you free will come to your side.... 
will come to your side I'm not gonna make any more of trivial excuses....
don't look so sad ....

With my mouth shut, I only wanted to wish your happiness .... 
I am not that man (for you), no ....
With a puff (of air) in the cold wind; I warmed up your cold hands ..... 

Deep within my arms, after a year, we had our first kiss ..... 
I gave myself to you, I always do ........
Just know this before you go; that I am a man who only wanted to love you ...
So stupid was I, an idiot, a scumbag who couldn't even protect you ......

If you stay beside me 'till the end, you'll be more heartbroken, you might fall ......
It's a good thing that someone who will set you free will come to your side....  
will come to your side ......
Thank you for giving me happy memories; you go on and don't remember.... 
forget everything .....
Don't look at me with worried eyes, I'm fine ......

Someday all my heart's wounds will be cured ........
Someday I will meet a nice person .........

Forget! 

Yeah, forget everything and hurry up and go! 
Before I change my mind and hold onto you ....
Out of habit, I might call you without knowing ....
hello hello hello hello ......

Missing you crazy, even if I'm at your door, be cold (just ignore me) ....
Just know this before you go; that I am a man who only wanted to love you ..
So stupid was I, an idiot, a scumbag who couldn't even protect you .........
If you stay beside me 'till the end, you'll be more heartbroken, you might fall .....
It's a good thing that someone who will set you free will come to your side..... 
will come to your side....

HoMin deabak ! ><