Mar 24, 2011

AiNi ... is confused ..

I dun know.. why ..
Nia being like this to me ...
That post.. supposedly not for her ...
That post ... for.. someone close to me..
but too bad she didn't realize that .. *that person*
now.. Nia is gone..
I dun want to disturb her ..
since she didn't reply to my comment ...
Maybe she angry with me ...
cuz always crying ...
Now ...
everyone gone ...
I'm alone again ..
In real LIFE ..
I got too many works to do...
the work kept coming ..
even I do my best ! >w<
Now.. I got head aches ..
My stomach aches .. cuz..
I been skipping eating rice ...
today .. Kak Linda buy me nasi goreng ..
but after eat that ...
I been in & out of toilet since lunch ...
its so painful..
plus my head ...
hurts ..
maybe cuz I do too many reports in one day !
I miss them ...
I miss Sungjung ... Tiqah ... Nia .. Sunie ...
But .. I must act cool aite ??
Lately all my post ..
at facebook ...
is about my work.. & real life ...
God.. I miss them ...
but what should I do ??
I'm cant cry again ..
I'm ady make promise ...
what should I do ??!
..... ......
..... .....
when they texting wif me ...
I can feel .. something is wrong ..
I wanted to ask them so bad ..
but.. I'm afraid I might hurt their feeling ...
so I kept quiet ..
I keep smiling & laughing ..
even my heart cry ...
what should I do ??
I hate being like this ..
but ... since Atikah left me ...
I don't think I can be a really really good friend to anyone ...
yeah .. I'm still hurt ...
I miss Liana too ...
But.. now.. she busy ..
with assignment ..
and exams..
I shall not disturb her and being such a baby !
Now.. listen to.. Dong Bang Shi Ki  song's ...
From Ballon to their new one.. -Before U Go ...
June ! ppalli come !!
I wanna see Liana ASAP !!!
God .. help me please ..
Jebal ...

Mar 22, 2011

AiNi... ... .....

Hari nih.. Kak Linda dtg lambat cket.. cuz kne bank in some client's money ...
AiNi .. cam .. tak pe laa..
AiNi bleh jer dok sorg3 kat ofis nih..
so. my 1st job for today.. is..
collect some payments from clients.
Got TONS of reports to call.. >w<
Kak Ain was early today ...
but she ignored me...
I hate the feeling when she totally IGNORE ME !.. 
Kak Ain juz chatting wif Yus only ...
They talked bout a lots of things..
bout their BF and etc etc ...
I can heard them .. laughing..
while my heart is crying ...
I plugged my ears with my kpop songs ..
my fav ones..
got one song by TVXQ or DBSK ..
Before U Go ..
so sad ...
I kept calling clients..
trying my best to ignore those laugh ...
those voices ...
One client really pissed me off ...
but .. I kept my "blur" mode...
it's hurt .. la..
seriously hurt...
I wanted to cry so bad ...
wae she doing this to me ??
wae me??!
She knows she important to me..
She knows what I feels ..
bout being alone..
but still ...
she keep on doing this ...
I trying my best ..
to please her ..
to respect her ...
Wae she can't see that Yus the one who hate me ?!
not me hate YUS ??! 
Today ..
I tried not to talk to her ...
but ....
I still smiling while talk to her ...
I still respect her  as one my sister..
She didn't even ask wae Yus didn't want to talk to me ...
She doesn't even care bout me ...
Yus make me feel like a strangers...
She make me cry more than twice !
Kak Linda try to cheer me up..
by asking me watch those "pervert" vid ..
she like.. "jangan TENGOK!" 
when the japanese lost his towel. showing his ... "TEET".. 
That vid so damn funny la ! even others said ..
Uish Kak Yah *their name for me* .. suke nyer .... 
They laughed when they see me LOL .. =__=
Kak Ain?
They ignore her.. when she busy .. finding her reports ...
feel bad for her ..
so I talk to her back  ...
I dun like it when she ignore me ..
hurm .. just..
that's how family .. feels like an ?

AiNi .. actually been blessed ... just she didn't notice it... till NOW...

Why I pick that title ?? 
Hurm .... *think* 
I deleted my previous post cuz.. its only my past..
now.. I'm learning to balance everything..
I hate to see someone cry bcuz of me...
I hate to know someone crying bcuz of me...
I hate when I know.. I made them cry...
Now ... everything will be okay..
I will try my BEST to smile & laugh...
Even it's hard ...
cuz I got a lot of FRIENDS !
SUPER JUNIOR really really change me LIFE ...
I'm not lying ....
This is what I really felt... 
towards their FANCLUB - the ELF ...

They changed my LIFE.
Super Junior taught me how to be strong in my life..
Even its was hard.. but their dedication to make ..
someone's life better.
They smile even they're tired ...
They laugh even they're dying inside ...
I really look up to them bcuz of that...
Super Junior's song ...
If you listen carefully..
You can actually feel their LOVE..
Their dance moves..
make me goes "Woooo".. >w<
Their humble face make me fall in deeper ... 

THE ELF ....
was the AWESOME fan club to me !
They're just like SUPER JUNIOR ...
They stay together...
sad .. tears.. laugh... smile ...
Not always Happy Together ...
but... they stick together ...
I know some ELF that now..
turn into my FAMILY ...
I'm lean to them if I cried or sad ...
I told them.. bout my problems ...
I told them ... bout ... my LIFE...
Now ... they know almost EVERYTHING bout me...
Life is not always a happy one ...
You really need someone when you broke down to tears ...
You need someone to tell you...
"It's okay... "..
"I'm here for you"...
It did meant a lot to a person like ME ...

well.. I just wanna say ...
cuz being a part of my life now...
cuz be there for me...
I will try my best to smile ...
Be a positive person ...
I'm being blessed actually...
For the chance Allah gave to me..
A chance..
to know...
ELF ...
And make them as a part of my LIFE ... 

Mar 17, 2011

AiNi.. understand how you feels.. so. she will let u go..

told ya.. my life..
rather complicated to say..
I was treated like a kid..
even I already 21 years old now..
Some time I just don't get it..
wae she being like that??
This evening my mom said..
"Kesian ayah ko.. asyik keje jer.. asyik bagi anak2 mkn"..
I was like... ....
I know my mom angry with my brother..
cuz he kept asking bout money..
but wae my mom mad at me??!
I'm was speechless...
I was like...
"mama.. don't you think I was enjoying my life??"..
Do you see I buy something expensive for myself??
I don't really get her...
so.. I answered back..
"Mak.. mak rase Aini ni.. ade beli ape3 ker untuk diri aini sendiri?"..
she kept quiet..
"mak.. rase... untuk siapa aini kerja??"
"Duit gaji aini.. sume aini bagi kat mak.."
so... mak marah kat sape actually??
suddenly.. she said..
"mak... tak suke ko asyik ngan korea tuh.. stop stop la dngr lagu tuh"..
Okay now.. about Kpop..
"Mak.. Aini not so addict laaa.. "..
"Mak pnah nampak tak aini pegi mane3 fan meeting??
mane3 concert?? AiNi just dengar lagu jer..
Jng la buat aini camni..
kadang3 aini kne marah ngan client..
Aini nak dngr lagu jer..
That how aini release my tension..
Ke mak prefer aini pegi club mlm tok release tension??
My mom.. lost words..
I know it was bad to talk back to mom..
but.. she need to know..
how i feels..
how... I sad was.. when she kept telling me to stop liking kpop..
My mom.. hugged me... just now..
she telling me..
she just stressed out bcuz of my other sisters and brother..
Mom. I know how you felt..
That is I tried my best to please you..
She okay with me now..
She let me online tonight..
but.. no one was on fb or twitter..

today.. got so many things happen...
two days in row..
someone told.. I was a lesbian..
ah.. heart breaking laaa... ToT
how come I was a lesbian.. when I love my DONGHAE so much??!
Think positive la people !!
my brother asked me..
to stop be in relationship with her..
or he will find her.. =__=
wae so many things happened today??!
Li cheng was here at the office during lunch..
she kept me company..
she told me..
that she already failed in two interviews..
aigoo.. now she lost her confidence..
I gave my advice to her..
telling her to keep in trying..
we talked about two hours..
keke.. :33
bout Jang Geuk Suk some more.. LOL ! she loves dat man !
I asked her to go to Job exhibition in Saturday...
I'll accompany her..
hope she going to said yes..  ^^
Li cheng ah ~ fighting !!!

Yus's back hurts so bad..
I guess..
muke die pucat jer aini tngok..
risau la plak.. =__=
so..mase kak linda message..
cam tak percaya jer yg die ask for leave tomorrow..
but after seeing her this evening..
okay.. maybe she really hurts..
I accompany her walk home..
I'm afraid she might fall or what other bad thing happen to her..
so I send her home..
not with car.. ToT
I hold her hands and talk to her..
Nagging is the most like me..
told her..
wae she not doing a full check up while she resting at home??
nag nag nag till she.. said..
"Okay okay.. doctor ke-3".. >w<
we part wen one direction..

Tonite.. I had talk wif my sis at sabah..
giler ah..
she TALK a LOT ! like me.. ToT
She ask me to marry..
and forget bout my donghae..
she said.. donghae is not real..
well.. she is right..
but.. i'm not ready...
I'm afraid to.. commit a relationship..
if they keep on hurting my feelings..
last scars haven't heal..
I need some more time..
When the right show up..
I will tell myself..
I will ready..
for him and me..
in mean time..
Let me.. in my world ne?

After all..
I hope..
everything will be okay..
I wanna laugh..
I wanna make everyone happy..
That was my last wish...

AiNi.. dear mom.. dear dad.. please understand me...

I wrote this.. not because I hate my mom.. my dad..
I just need to write it somewhere.. please forgive me...

Dear mom...
Don't you think.. I'm tired??
Don't you think.. I'm alone??
Don't you think... I'm sad??
Don't you think.. I'm cried alone??
Along & angah being so selfish..
Abg Apes & Aan juz guys..
They only enjoy their life... while me.. ...
alone at the house..
stuck with my computer...
sometime I need you to understand me.. even a bit...
If you only talk with me..
If only I can talk to you..
How important them in my life..
I'm only asking you...
Please understand me..
If you hurt bcuz of their actions..
Let me know.. so I can cheer you up..
Let me know.. so.. I can understand you better..
But please..
don't let your anger to me..
I'm also alone..
I'm also cried...
I'm don't have many friends to keep me happy..
You always nags at me..
About Noni..
That girl totally different from me..
I'm not that girl..
I'm can control myself..
I know how to take care of myself..
Mom.. Please don't listen to them...
When they said..
I can't take care of myself..
I'm only a retard girl...
I'm just need you to believe in me..
Mom.. Music..
It's only keep me company..
Don't you realize..
that.. I'm got nothing??
I'm don't have friends were the same age as me...
I'm don't enjoy myself over the limit..
Please have some faith in me...

Dear Dad...
I know you don't like me..
falling in love with korean guys..
Please understand that..
I'm only like them...
To be with someone like them..
so.. can you please..
let me..
hears the song.. what I'm want to hears.
watch what I want to watch...
It's not always..
Its not 24/7 programs..
I'm tired.. if you keep constantly
telling me to stop..
My life weren't not my life anymore..
Everybody kept telling me to stop..
how can I stop??!!
when I got my smile .. my laugh.. from there??!!
I'm not doing the bad things!
I gain wonderful people from this fandom !
I met many people from being an ELF.
tell me how to stop when you start to love them as YOUR FAMILY??!
I'm cried.. every night...
lonely.. being lonely is the most..
hurtful feelings..
I'm just need one person..
to tell me...
It's okay..
being an ELF..
to hug me..
Its okay..
liking kpop...
to whisper to me..
If you are happy. then we will be happy for you...


people tends to have hard times.. now. I'm facing it..
I need to be strong.. these will flies..away..
soon.. I just need to be strong enough..
maybe they're just stress...
I'm should understand them well..
Mama & Ayah.. AiNi sayang korg sangat3 !!!

Mar 13, 2011

AiNi.. special for you.

You’re my little angel.
I’m lucky cuz I found you.
You care about me too much.
Sometime I’m too shy to tell you everything about myself.
Because I don’t think I deserve anyone better like you.
My life weren’t not like you ever think.
It’s way complicated.
Even my best friend dumped me.
Even I did care and love her as my friend.
Sometime people just weren’t meant to be together
No matter how long they knew each other.

Love that something we can grew everyone.
Even a simple Hi can lead to good friendship
Hate can crush your world within second.
Believe me. I had been there.
There only take one word and it’s all over.
Now, I’m alone and collecting the pieces by myself.

I’m not a good person.
I’m sorry if my words hurt you in many ways.
I’m sorry if I did ignore you.
I’m sorry for everything that cause you cry.
Even I said I don’t care about you.
Even I pretend not to miss you.
Even I hide my feelings inside me.

I can’t lie that you are someone to me.
Yes. Special person to me.
Because of you I learn to smile
Take things positively.
Smile when it’s hurt so much deep inside
Because of you I learn to be funny
Just to make you laugh like a crazy person in front of your computer
That’s make me feel like someone to somebody.
Life is cruel but there also sweet memories that I never wants to forget

I will treasure every moment of us.
Here. In my heart. In my mind.
I wish you will stay by me forever.
I wish you will find happiness as you wish mine
I wish you will success in no matter what you do
Because I love and care for you.
As my sister.
As my little angel.
As my friend.
As my dear.
As one of my best dongsaeng ever !

Love always,

Mar 11, 2011

AiNi... trying to be strong...

Now.. rite now..
I having some problems in my real life..
within my family..
I kept quiet cuz.. its private matter...
I think I can handle it.. by myself....
about my real life friends..
Atikah.. yes. that name again...
She said something on Yana wall.. that make me.
feels a bit jealous. I don't think I should be ..
but.. this feelings.. ah ~ too complicated laaa... TOT
told ya.. I can't attend Liana birthday party rite?
She wrote on Yana wall.. saying thanks and all that stuff..
for me.. what the point she wrote on Yana wall.. 
when she knew I was going to stalk Yana page?
hurm.. maybe. she only showing.. her.. good side.
so never mind laa..
but. it took days before I can finally erase it from my brain !
yesterday.. I stalk Atikah's page...
she wrote.. like this... .....

"Allah telah menyatakan: Manusia yg baik hanya akan bertemu dengan manusia yg baik. Manakala manusia yg jahat hanya akan bertemu dengan sesama mereka saja. Oleh itu, samalah ertinya dengan jodoh, sahabat dan sebagainya. So, sebelum menilai orang lain. Nilai lah diri kita dahulu. ;)

When I saw her status.. 
My brain.. went totally blank. 
she wrote that for whom? 
Me? me kerrr??? 
ah ~ that.. girl.. are really really something...
I guess. its going to took days. before I can erase it... 

while.. at my office..
seems.. Kak Ain..
loves Yus.. more den me now..
She laugh more with Yus..
She talks more with Yus.
She saying.. that she didn't change at all..
but.. all her actions..
told me different side of story..
never mind laaa..
I'm going to forgive them btw..
As long Kak Ain happy with Yus..
I'm okay with it..
Even ..
that's meant..
I have to eat alone..
nah. its okay.. 

are happy..
with .. Nia.. = dear..
with... Tiqah = Baby Tiqah..
with... Safura unnie = my yeobo .honey ~
with... Sun Iey = my sister in law *she luv hyukkie* xPP
and all my friends at FACEBOOK and TWITTER !
I don't want.. to be sad person anymore..
I'm tired to please everyone..
who doesn't even bother to please me back...
I'm just wanna be a better person !
so.. today.. is.. the present.
going to LIVE it UP !
yesterday.. is memories..
going to cherish if it GOOD.
going to delete if it BAD.
tomorrow.. is a brand new day !
so.. I'm going to stay as ELF...
I'm going to live my life as I want too !
nobody can tell me.. what to do.. or not..
except.. Allah & MY mom & dad.. 

Mar 9, 2011

AiNi.. must be strong

Ya Allah.
If I have just one wish..
I wish..
to stay beside her now.
I'm so worried bout her now.
I know how it's hurt.
It will hurt so bad.
I wanna her to be happy.
now. I'm holding back my tears..
Cuz. I need to be strong !
Even she said like that..
She just like me.
Try hard to just ignore.
But. friends. are totally hard to ignore.
We already be friends for a long time.
I know.
Cuz. I lost my friend.
So. I know it's hurt.
She only. 16 year old.
Ya Allah.
Please. take care of her.
Please. make her feels that she not alone.
I'm here and always and forever here for her..
I care bout her.. like my younger sister.
Since I only have little brother.
Having someone like her.
Talk bout same thing.
Be crazy and all that stuff.
I'm happy.
Even we didn't meet.
I do care how she feels...
I want.. she come to me. when she sad or happy.
I'm wanna be her guardian angel.
to protect her.
I don't her to get hurt again. by someone.
acting like she cares but she didn't..

Please stop.
God. watch over us.
watching your every move.
so stop faking it.
You going to regret it back later.
Ah ~ You also. need to learn.
not all fight. we need to win.
If you care.
If you love.
my sister as your friends.
You should make the first move.
Since you started it first.
I meant.
You need to be sorry to her.
Not act like. you're the victim.
on twitter or facebook.
It's not right.
Like I said.
Allah knows everything.

As for my sister.
Please be strong !
If you need a shoulder to lean on.
Call me ASAP !
I will try my best to cheer u up ~
Don't hide your feeling with me.
I'm your sister ! :PP
You're free to tell me ...
If you wants..
I will listen and try to help if I could ~
Saranghae !!!


Mar 6, 2011

AiNi.. life continues...

Nothing new I guess... 
Everyday is the same for me now..
Tea time...
Ah ~ what more a boring life !!!
I wasn't able to attend Liana's birthday party ! >w<
but. we promise to meet on my month ~ which is JUNE ! 
Can't wait for that month ~~ 
Counting days ! oh YEAH !!! 
hurm. there so many to tell her...
So many stories to tell.. 
I bet.. one day is not enough for us ~
haha ~~ xDD
Guess whut.. I kept listening and watching "I wanna LOVE YOU"
That song.. stuck in my head after "PERFECTION" ! 
If... someone sang that song to me...
sure.. he will be my hubby ! LOL ! xPP
that song.. even it was in korean...
look and listen to english word ~
it can make u melts like ICE on HOT & SUNNY day!
Last night.. when ss3.. something bad happen.. to Super Junior. 
not all.. one of them ~
but he is okay now..
I heard that person.. paid for she have done..
I'm sorry..
"What goes around.. SURELY.. come around".. 
I can't believe its was ACCIDENT..
cuz.. a board .. was threw at him..
a board!
a fucking a BIG board !
I can't believe its was a JOKE too !
cuz.. every JOKE have their own LIMIT !
What if. someone do the same thing to.. her.. and said..
"HAHA! relax.. I'm just joking around!". nothing personally ~
This can't be stopped.. cuz.. she threw it to WORLD IDOL.
people will keep on talking.. and talking..
the best way.. she must keep quiet for one or two years..
Let people forget these things by themselves.
Seriously.. we can't shut people mouth.
Its their rights to say.. 
As for she..
I'm sorry for what happened..
You should think "TWICE"..
It was a BOARD.. not a small thing..
that YOU can threw without a PURPOSE. 
Your dad.. asking.. help..
bcuz of your stupid actions.
You have to pay...
for almost EVERYTHING.
ELF can be good if you're good with their IDOL.
We (not me laa.. but.. other crazy fan girl) sure can go violent if. 
you hurts one of them ..


cuz.. found that.. DONGHAE got hit too!!! TOT
no !!! shirooo !!!!! >w<
Donghae ya~~ are you okay??!

ELF.. PLEASE laaa.. Super Junior not..FULLY yours!
so don't hurt them !!!
so.. when YOU hurt one of them...
Be wise and THINK TWICE !!!!

Don't randomly.. said sorry when YOU DONE.

p/s: Agree to disagree with me ya? :P
If not. don't read my post ! 

Mar 2, 2011

AiNi.. is lucky to have these friends in her life !

I know. I'm a lucky person.. cuz I met many wonderful people in my life.
Mutual or real friends. They all the same. As long as they care and love us. in every way.
I got this from "Google".. the meaning of FRIENDS..

"Friend" redirects here.... 

In a comparison of personal relationshipsfriendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study of friendship is included in the fields of sociologysocial psychologyanthropology,philosophy, and zoology. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, among which are social exchange theoryequity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other
  • Sympathy and empathy
  • Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
  • Mutual understanding and compassion
  • Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support
  • Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
 So true.. I can't deny it. for every single words. 
As for me. 
Friends. are. someone who knows your little dirty secret.. who knows when you are sad even you deny it.  
who knows how to cheer you up if bad things happens. who knows. the real you. 
The most important things. they respect your every decision. they respect your feelings. 
Agree to disagree with you.
I have know a lot of people who do care and love me unconditionally even they didn't meet me as a person. 
I know a lot of people who do care and love me unconditionally even they know I'm not perfect.
I know a lot of people who do care and love me unconditionally beside my family.
I'm know I'm lucky when they said. "Love you!". "Saranghae!". 
cuz. not many people could express their feeling just like that.. 

There are times when friends do fight each other.
I did cry for whose I love and care about.
I'm not deny it. cuz that is me.
I'm hurt because one friends. used to call her my best friend.
But the reason she left me. is hurting me.
She doesn't want to be friends with me anymore cuz...
She don't want me to get hurt again. bcuz her stupid actions.
She doesn't want me to cry again.
I have to let her go right? but still..
I'm talking bout her right now.
To me. its all to me to decide. not her.
But, if she thinks the best of both of us.
I can let her go.
I can forget all those memories we created for. almost ten years.
yes. Its so damn easy.
I just need to click "DELETE". 

I'm trying my best to forget her.
I'm trying my best to be happy .
I'm trying my best to just being me.
I'm trying to make others happy being friends with me.
I don't want them to cry for me.
I don't want me to cry cuz my stupid actions ever again!
I don't want they hate me.
Cuz its hurt ...
Its hurt so bad..
If I make them cry or hurts bcuz of me.

I love and care for these people !!! 

MY BFF ever ! We ady friends for 8 years now !
Nur Liana !

Li cheng ~ or CClia ~ haha ~ xDD
My best chinese friends ever !
She loves Jang Geun Suk ~ keke ~
we met last year and still friends ! 

My angel ! my sweet angel !
Izzy Izzah~ from Singapore ~ ^^v
She's younger than me. but she mature than me~
Always cheer me up ! ^o^
We met... .... ... haha.. xDD

Kak Ain ! or Nur'Ain Najib ~
She is my second sister in my office ~
She already... ... dis years~ keke~
She loves new songs ~
we met in 2009 !

Kak Linda ! or Normalinda Abu Bakar ~
She is my oldest sister in my office ~
She already... ... dis year~ haha~ ^^;
She loves Dato Siti Nurhaliza so much !
we met in 2009 too ! 

Nia ~
She is my dongsaeng ~ In korean we called younger sister like that~ ^^
She younger than me ~ but always gave my good advice ! keke~ >w<
we became close since the end of 2010 !
Nia loves Mochi or Henry ~ ^^

Park Hyosson~
She loves Teuki oppa so much !
Always post funny pictures at the GROUP that can make smile ~
She younger than me too ! =_=!
we became close early this year~ ^^v

Sun Iey ! or Sunie ~
She in the same age as me ~
Always create my own fan fic with her ~
Always be EXTRA crazy when I with her ~
We became close early this year~
AH! She loves Eunhyuk oppa ! 

Sungjung unnie !!
She loves Yesung oppa so much !
We created one couple name bcuz of EUNHAE
ours is.. aINi + SungJUNG = InJung ~ haha~ xD
I loves to make stupid jokes just to make her smile or laugh~
I wish I can look those smile and hears those laugh~ ^^
She is my new Yeobo (HONEY in korean!)~ haha~~ xDD
We already friends for 2 years ~ (kot.. TOT)

Tiqah ! or Atiqah Almarwan ~
I always text and call her ~
She is my dongsaeng too ~
She acted mature too~ =_=
We loves call each other "Yeobo" ~
She always miss me when I didn't text or call her for one week.
We became close in early this year~

Atiqah or Nur Atiqah Aqma Rozaidi
Bcuz of her. I made "Super Junior is Our Eternal Love"
She is my dongsaeng ~
She a bit moody ~ but She is a good person~
I love to be friend with her ~ ^^v
We become close since last year~

Safi or Safiyah !
She is my dongsaeng too.
She always gave me good advice too!
I guess .. meet with me is one of her dream~ LOL!
Haha ~ xDD we supposedly to meet at Midvalley.. TOT
We been friends for a long time now ~ :D

Lee Ammai Unnie ~
She loves Leeteuk oppa !
She is Indonesian ~
She is a sweet person ~
We rarely have the talk ~ TOT
we became close since early this year~ ^^

Thia Melly unnie ~
She Indonesian too ~
She loves Donghae oppa too ! TOT
But of cuz laa. I'm the 1st wife ~ keke ~~
When I have enough credit, we always text each other ~ ^^;

My first korean unnie !
Choi Eun Ryene !
She so cute!! >w<
We rarely have the talks bcuz she always busy~ =_=!
I met her.. early this year~

I hope we can be friends forever !
I hope we laugh together !
I hope we have each other back eternally !
I hope we have more GOOD TIMES & GOOD LAUGH in the FUTURE !

"There are friends. we didn't get the chance to meet in person. but. we love them. unconditionally cuz. somehow. they do care and love bout us as if they meet us as a person "..

"There are times. I just want to let it all go. but. I do love and care about you.cuz. somehow. my life is nothing without you guys" ..

Thanks cuz reading this post !
Gomawooo ~
Love you !
Saranghae !

AiNi ~ 

AiNi.. don't know what to do in her life.

I know. I might sound so wrong but.. 
I seriously.. don't get what my parents wants from me.. 
they keep nagging to me since Saturday ! its so freaking annoying... 
I cried last Monday. alone. again. in my bedroom. while listen to suju songs.
their reason. 
I never help them enough. 
I addicted to facebook
I never be the daughter that they always wants me to be ! 
I'm so tired.. of this life.

Office life. sucks when Yus arrived.
Home life. sucks when these things happened. 
My life. sucks .. yes. it is. 
I'm tired helping my mom around while my other sisters just sit around and watching the TV laughing freely. 
I'm tired. always being scolded one ... 
I'm always sighing. 
I'm tired.. just pretend to be crazy...
I'm tired.. seriously tired.
I'm always crying alone.. 

sometimes I wish.. 
my mom could at least understand her daughter needs entertainment too.
sometime I wish...
my dad could understand his daughter needs to be with her friends too..
sometimes I wish..
times could stop and I still in my high school. 
where good times always around me...
I miss Liana damn much ...
I wanna go see her in her birthday this Friday (4 March 1990)..
but.. my mom said no..
what else I could do? 

My parents are the greatest.. parent I could have.
there are times. I think..
they need to trust me..
To go out with my friends...
Go watch movies..
Just go having some fun on my own...
I need to have some fun in my life. for real !