Mar 17, 2011

AiNi.. dear mom.. dear dad.. please understand me...

I wrote this.. not because I hate my mom.. my dad..
I just need to write it somewhere.. please forgive me...

Dear mom...
Don't you think.. I'm tired??
Don't you think.. I'm alone??
Don't you think... I'm sad??
Don't you think.. I'm cried alone??
Along & angah being so selfish..
Abg Apes & Aan juz guys..
They only enjoy their life... while me.. ...
alone at the house..
stuck with my computer...
sometime I need you to understand me.. even a bit...
If you only talk with me..
If only I can talk to you..
How important them in my life..
I'm only asking you...
Please understand me..
If you hurt bcuz of their actions..
Let me know.. so I can cheer you up..
Let me know.. so.. I can understand you better..
But please..
don't let your anger to me..
I'm also alone..
I'm also cried...
I'm don't have many friends to keep me happy..
You always nags at me..
About Noni..
That girl totally different from me..
I'm not that girl..
I'm can control myself..
I know how to take care of myself..
Mom.. Please don't listen to them...
When they said..
I can't take care of myself..
I'm only a retard girl...
I'm just need you to believe in me..
Mom.. Music..
It's only keep me company..
Don't you realize..
that.. I'm got nothing??
I'm don't have friends were the same age as me...
I'm don't enjoy myself over the limit..
Mom..
Please have some faith in me...

Dear Dad...
I know you don't like me..
falling in love with korean guys..
Please understand that..
I'm only like them...
To be with someone like them..
is IMPOSSIBLE..
so.. can you please..
let me..
hears the song.. what I'm want to hears.
watch what I want to watch...
It's not always..
Its not 24/7 programs..
I'm tired.. if you keep constantly
telling me to stop..
My life weren't not my life anymore..
Everybody kept telling me to stop..
how can I stop??!!
when I got my smile .. my laugh.. from there??!!
I'm not doing the bad things!
I gain wonderful people from this fandom !
I met many people from being an ELF.
tell me how to stop when you start to love them as YOUR FAMILY??!
I'm cried.. every night...
lonely.. being lonely is the most..
hurtful feelings..
I'm just need one person..
to tell me...
It's okay..
being an ELF..
to hug me..
Its okay..
liking kpop...
to whisper to me..
If you are happy. then we will be happy for you...


AiNi...


people tends to have hard times.. now. I'm facing it..
I need to be strong.. these will flies..away..
soon.. I just need to be strong enough..
maybe they're just stress...
I'm should understand them well..
Mama & Ayah.. AiNi sayang korg sangat3 !!!

2 comments:

Nia IrNieya said...

I dont want to make you more miserable ..
i just want you ..
to ......................................
dont think that you're alone ...
eventhough we dont meet ..
or you with another friends, like Atiqah unnie .. Atiqah Almarwan unnie .. Alia unnie .. Sunie unnie .. or Thia unnie .. or everybody else ..
don't think we enjoy your day with you just for fun .. because we care about you .. we dont want you sad again .. if you've problems .. even like this .. if you mind to share with me, then i would like to hear it ..

AiNi AiDeN said...

*sigh*
I luv u guys to death ! really..
sound like a bad daughter laa.. will delete it soon. :/