Feb 16, 2011

Love?? .. the most complicated thing EVER!

Life. is really really confusing thing.
Now. I'm confused.
with my own feelings.
My heart said. AiNi, please believe him. He real.
My brain asked me not to over think bout him. AiNi. Malay guy didn't even look at you  ! now Korean guy? Seriously?!
He explain everything to me. but still.. my brain won't believe him.
my heart said. he real and don't lose him. 
Now. I feel bad for everything that happen.
As for Nia, Ryene and everyone. 
How wish. I can. be more mature bout this matter.
I tried to be cool. I tried to act cool. 
But my tears juz flow. when I know he using other's person photos.
My brain told me. How stupid ! see the reality ! You never get a korean guy! face it, ugly girl !
Sunie was there for me. She called me that night. I can't show that I'm crying. 
So. I acted cool once again.
My brother whose in his room came to downstair.
Just to make I'm okay. I stop crying when he in living room with me.
Can't show him that I'm crying too. I hate crying for silly reason.
But that night. after they helped me found out the photos .
I was crying so bad.
Kept thinking. why me? WHY?
Is he/she having fun? reading those love words?

Nia deleted her facebook. I can't call her. 
Nia wrote on her blog. It wasn't her. She swear on Allah name.
Now. I feel bad bout Nia. Nia. I'm sorry ! I'm just confused. so confused with my own feeling.

As for that guy. He explained to me too. He just wanted to wait till I calm down first.
Can I believe him now? (I'm trying now)...
I wanted to give a shot for me. 
I never never feel this way toward anyone. 
except for Donghae ~ ^^;
I want to believe in  him. 
I want to feel this wonderful feeling called LOVE.
Even he still far away from me.
Still.. I want to take the chances.
Even I will get hurt later.
Still.. I want to be with him.
Even many people doesn't like me to be with him.
Still.. I can't hide my own feeling. I starting to love him.
Even... He is not what he is.
Still.. I wanna be with him.
I promise. that I won't cry later.

Nia. I know. You wont read this.
I'm truly sorry for my silly mistake !
If I can run to your house and hug you. I'm sure I will do it !
Nia. Please forgive me. 
If I can do anything to make you happy again. I'm sure I will do it !

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